Weaning Q&A With Lucy Upton

Welcome to week five of our mini Q&A clinic with Specialist Paediatric Dietitian Lucy Upton. Lucy regularly consults in the public and private sectors and has extensive experience supporting families through weaning in her specialist feeding clinics. During the series, Lucy has been answering some of the most common questions parents ask as they begin weaning, along with a few surprising ones!

If you missed the first four weeks, you can catch up here:

Week 1: Give Weaning Woes the F.I.N.G.E.R

Week 4: Travel Tips: Babies & Bottled Water

This week, we’re sharing a top parenting hack to help you deal with food refusal or tossing and the inside track on why it’s really okay to encourage your child to play with food (spoiler alert: it’s scientifically proven to boost development!). Let’s hand over to Lucy and get started on the No, thank you plate.

What do I do if my child refuses to eat certain foods or throws them on the floor?

If your child has started throwing food or maybe even refusing certain foods, here’s an easy tip from me that works! It’s called the ‘No, thank you’ or ‘I’m finished’ plate, and here’s why every family should have one. Keeping language and behaviour at mealtimes positive will always be the preferred route to raising a healthy eater. Focus on what your child can do over negative language like ‘stop’, ‘don’t’ and ‘if you don’t’.

For example, instead of saying, “No, don’t throw that”, give them an option and show them where to put it instead. Try, “You can put the food here if you don’t want it”.

Sometimes a child will throw food just because they don’t fancy it that day, or are practising their trajectory schema (e.g. ooh when I drop this it makes a noise), or object permanence (e.g. ooh when I drop the carrot it still exists on the floor). Perhaps they’ve tried or tasted it and don’t want it, or are simply unhappy with it on their tray.

By establishing a designated zone or place where unwanted food can go, you’re not only setting some guidelines and boundaries, but you’re keeping ‘rejected’ foods still on the menu—that is to say that they’re not being abandoned altogether, so they still technically count as exposure, even if it’s only sight, or touch by the physical transfer to the no thank you plate.

My baby is playing with their food. Should I try to stop this behaviour? Is it bad table manners?

This may sound controversial, but you should actively encourage your baby to play with their food. For so long, we’ve been told we shouldn’t let children play with food. It’s often viewed as rude, bad behaviour and lacking good manners. However, it’s crucial in the foundational years of a child’s feeding journey that they play with their food, because play is how they learn.

Only by getting stuck in will your child truly learn about eating, self-feeding and the world of food in general. It’s important to normalise this behaviour and accept that it’s a way in which babies gain familiarity with foods, become confident, and develop a love for eating over time.

Remember, messy equals magic. Letting little ones squish, smear, and explore food helps:

🧠 Support sensory development - Babies explore the world through touch, taste, and smell. Playing with food helps them learn about textures, build comfort with new smells and colours
Playing with food can also reduce sensory sensitivity (essential for minimising the chances of picky eating developing)

👋 Strengthen fine motor skills—Squishing peas, picking up finger foods, and smearing yoghurt might look messy, but it’s skill-building. It helps strengthen hand-eye coordination and aids in the development of the pincer grasp (essential for feeding themselves later). It also prepares hands for holding utensils and even writing later down the line.

😋 Reduce mealtime anxiety—When babies touch and play with food, they become more familiar and comfortable with it. This minimises pressure to eat right away and helps build trust in food at their own pace. It also helps to encourage a positive, low-stress feeding environment.

🗣️ Boost language and learning—Talking about food while they play boosts vocabulary and encourages cognitive connections (like cause and effect). It also helps cultivate emotional confidence around trying new things.

❤️ Create joyful, stress-free meals— When babies are allowed to explore freely, they associate mealtimes with curiosity, not control. This builds independence and a healthy relationship with food, making them more likely to grow into adventurous eaters

I’ve seen other parents giving children really strange food combinations on the same plate. Is it okay to combine non-conventional foods?

Throw out the rulebook when it comes to your baby's plate! Clearly, it’s important to follow guidance on getting as much variety as possible into your baby's diet, along with a good balance of the different macro and micronutrients. But should you be worrying about foods that ‘go together’ in the same way you might when putting together a conventional plate of food for an adult? The simple answer is no.

There is no need to put unnecessary pressure on yourself to present the perfect plate of food at every mealtime, nor should you strive for gridworthy concoctions that please others. Variety is the key - both in terms of foods and texture, so there is absolutely nothing wrong with raspberries sitting alongside shredded chicken, for example. Your baby does not yet have the rules, societal expectations and cues around foods that we do as adults.

Get experimental. Pop an assortment of foods onto the highchair tray or table and let them explore without preconceived ideas or expectations.

Should I make my baby clear their plate?

You don’t need to make your baby clear their plate; in fact, it’s better not to. Babies are born with an amazing ability to self-regulate their hunger and fullness cues. Remember, they’ve been doing this throughout their milk feeds.

Forcing them to eat beyond what they naturally want can override this internal system, leading to habits like overeating or eating out of obligation rather than hunger. It also risks turning mealtimes into a power struggle, creating stress and negativity around food, which can lead to picky eating.

Instead of focusing on a clean plate, aim to create a positive, low-pressure eating environment. Offer a variety of healthy options and let your baby decide how much—or whether—they want to eat. This approach, known as the Division of Responsibility in feeding, helps babies learn to trust their bodies and develop a lifelong healthy relationship with food. Some days they’ll eat more, some days less—that’s normal.

Your role is to offer, theirs is to decide. Trusting that balance is one of the best gifts you can give them. When babies feel safe, unpressured, and in control, they’re more likely to grow into intuitive, healthy eaters.

I’m worried I’m not getting weaning right. What if I’m not giving them the best start or helping them achieve their milestones?

This is a common concern that I see in clinic often and a topic I discuss with parents frequently. Many parents find weaning an exceptionally difficult and challenging time. They’re juggling all of the other things that come with early parenthood, like sleep schedules, monitoring weight gain, and getting to grips with developmental milestones—and all of this amidst their own interrupted sleep patterns.

Suddenly, they’re then introducing solids and teaching their babies to eat; a process around which there are huge expectations and aspirations. Parents often get caught in the trap of comparing and even competing with others. By all means, share and talk to other parents about your experiences, but avoid piling on the pressure for your baby to perform in a certain way or like other babies.

It’s important for you to take the pressure off yourself and understand this:

It’s perfectly ok for babies not to eat much, if anything, at the beginning
Your baby will learn about food by playing with it, handling it, squishing it - in fact, almost anything other than eating it at the beginning - this is not only normal, but crucial for their development
Some days you’ll feel like you’re winning and they’re eating loads; the next day, they’ll be less interested and barely eat - this is completely normal
Be prepared to pick up your surfboard and ride the wave of weaning. Like any skill, it will not be a smooth journey but rather an adventure of ups and downs
You’re doing great for you, your baby and your family. That’s what counts!

For more from Lucy, check out her latest book ‘The Ultimate Guide to Children's Nutrition: How to nurture happy, healthy eaters in the first five years’.

Weaning Q&A With Lucy Upton - Part 5